It’s a real mystery why China didn’t choose Singapore to host part of the global Olympic Torch Relay. I mean, we’re supposed to be such close buddies, right? And we’re ethnically compatible. Our roads are so clean and so nice. Some more, we won’t even allow a kucing kurap guy like Chee Don Juan to protest, you think we’ll allow the Dalai Lama? We’d have made things really easy for China, but instead they chose Thailand lah, Malaysia lah, Indonesia lah, even Australia. Wah lau, let them con us over Suzhou also neh choose us! We speculate why:
1. Unlike other countries, Singapore actually wants more of our emigrants. So they must be something wrong.
2. Torch banned under No Smoking Campaign.
3. Singapore food sucks – not enough yummy mercury and formaldehyde.
4. We’ll have to pay a fortune in fines for spitting.
5. Singapore cancelled at the last minute – they couldn’t provide enough police escort because everyone kena redeployed to find that Masi Lemak guy.
6. All those Hokkien speakers make it too much like Taiwan for comfort.
7. Singapore Gahmen said they didn’t want it – if all the mainland Chinese in Singapore have to show up as supporters, who’s going to sell beer, clean tables, do massage, pleasure our old men, etc, etc? The economy will grind to a halt!
8. Singapore is already part of China, mah, so it doesn’t count.
by Nyonya Kway
Tree of hope
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
No torch
Thursday, April 17, 2008
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